Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The Bachelor Auction by Rachel Van Dyken. Release Day Blitz (psst...there's a giveaway)

THE BACHELOR AUCTION Release Day Blitz 








ABOUT THE BOOK
Title: The Bachelor Auction
Author: Rachel Van Dyken
Series: The Bachelors of Arizona #1
On Sale: October 4, 2016
Publisher: Forever
Formats: eBook
Price: $4.99 USD (eBook)

Cinderella never had to deal with this crap.

Jane isn't entirely sure that Cinderella got such a raw deal. Sure, she had a rough start, but didn't she eventually land a prince and a happily-ever-after? Meanwhile, Jane is busy waiting on her demanding, entitled sisters, running her cleaning business, and . . . yep, not a prince in sight. Until a party and a broken shoe incident leave Jane wondering if princes---or at least, a certain deliciously hunky billionaire---maybe do exist.
Except Brock Wellington isn't anyone's dream guy. Hell, a prince would never agree to be auctioned off in marriage to the highest bidder. Or act like an arrogant jerk---even if it was just a façade. Now, as Brock is waiting for the auction chopping block, he figures it's karmic retribution that he's tempted by a sexy, sassy woman he can't have. But while they can't have a fairy-tale ending, maybe they can indulge in a little bit of fantasy . . .

Excerpted from THE BACHELOR AUCTION by Rachel Van Dyken

Jane.” It was a whisper, it was a question, and then his mouth was on hers—harsh, forceful, but so inviting she whimpered at the contact and leaned into him, begging him with her body to take what she couldn’t voice aloud.
It was a bad idea.
He was a bad idea.
Taken.
Ready to be married off.
But here, in this moment, he was hers.
So she kissed him back with as much passion as she possessed, her hands digging into the front of his shirt while his teeth nipped at her bottom lip.
His hands slid beneath her shirt, unhooking her bra with ease as he nudged her thighs apart.
You feel so soft,” he murmured against her mouth. “Perfect.” Another plundering kiss, his tongue flicking hers before his lips slid down her neck. “So damn good.”
With a moan, she pressed as close as she could against him, nearly riding his leg in an effort to get more of him.
That’s it,” he encouraged while she clawed at him.
Brock!” Bentley’s voice pierced the air. “Did you need help?”
Brock froze above her, his face filled with irritation. “Open that door, Bentley, and I’m selling every car you own and replacing it with a Honda!”
Silence.
You don’t mean it.” The knob turned.
Jane’s eyes widened in alarm as Brock quickly moved away from her and tossed the blanket…over her head. Right, like that was going to look normal. She pulled the blanket off her face and tried in vain to fix her bra while frantically pulling her hair back into a ponytail.
Bentley entered, took one look at both of them and smiled. “Clearly this room was dirtier than we thought?” He tilted his head at Jane. “Or maybe not dirty enough?”
Out!” Brock barked.
But—”
Go!”
Fine,” Bentley grumbled. “I’m leaving. I just thought you should know that Grandfather called and wanted to know how the maid was working out. I told him that you’ve been helping her since she sprained her ankle. He was concerned about her finishing the job.”
What did you say?” Brock grabbed Bentley by the shirt and gave a little shake.
Bentley held up his hands. “Chill. I told him that she would make a full recovery, that she refused to sue, and that you were taking care of the situation. Because that’s all you’re doing, right Brock? Taking care of the situation…” He peered around Brock at Jane.
Feeling suddenly more naked than she actually was, she covered herself up with the blanket.
What had she been thinking?
It was beyond unprofessional.
Tears burned the backs of her eyes.
Thanks, Bent.” Brock sighed, running his hands through his already mussed hair.
Bentley saluted him then added quietly. “For the record, any girl that can get Boring Brock to bend the rules is a keeper.”
Brock bit back a curse as Bentley shut the door.
Boring Brock?” Jane asked.
It’s about as bad as it sounds.”
Well, I’m Plain Jane, so…I understand.”
He turned. “You’ve never been plain a day in your life.”
I think you’ve already learned that you don’t need to give me pretty compliments to get me to kiss you.”
You have seven freckles. You press your lips together to keep yourself from saying things you shouldn’t. You hum when you clean, and though I’m not sure what the tune is, it’s familiar. When you eat, you watch people rather than your own food, and I’m just going to come out and say it: you eat like an animal, the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen.”
Jane covered her face with her hands. “It was flattering until you said that last part.”
Brock laughed. “Seeing a woman dig into her food like she hasn’t eaten in weeks? It’s one of the most erotic visions I’ve ever had.”
Emotion flashed across his face as he made his way over to her and kissed her again, pulling away with her name on his lips. “Jane, I want you.”
Thought I was just the help.” The walls around her heart started to slip; she felt it in the way her body rose against him. He’d noticed things about her nobody ever had, he was helping her, and he was beautiful. Was it so wrong to want this? For herself? Once in her life?
You’re more than that, and you know it.” His eyes locked on to hers as his deep voice washed over her.
You’re getting auctioned off in two weeks and you know it.”
He paused, his expression going completely ice cold before he looked away and then back at her. “And if I wasn’t? What then?”
Then…” She bit down on her bottom lip. “I’d ask you to kiss me again.”

THE BACHELORS OF ARIZONA
The Bachelor Auction #1

BUY THE BOOK HERE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rachel Van Dyken is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling author of regency and contemporary romances. When she's not writing you can find her drinking coffee at Starbucks and plotting her next book while watching The Bachelor.  She keeps her home in Idaho with her Husband, adorable son, and two snoring boxers! She loves to hear from readers!
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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Book Review: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Author: Alice Clayton
Release Date:  November 27th 2012
Publisher: Omnific Publishing
Series: Cocktail
Pages: 384
Buy on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads, Leafmarks

Rating: 4 stars

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...



My Thoughts:

This book is hilarious...the most extremely amazingly funny book ever. Every sentence was packed with funny lines and sarcasm and a lot of innuendos that ad me laughing my ass off.

It all starts with Caroline a twenty something successful interior designer and her anguish over her long lost O -as in Orgasm. Caroline, is not your usual character. She is driven, focused, sweet and serious, with a great sense of humor. She moves into her new apartment, arranges all her clothes and things and when she is completely satisfied with the deco of her apartment she goes to bed. And she wakes up a few hours later to the sounds of meowing and a bed banging on the wall. That goes for some time and we get to know the meow, the spanx and giggles, oh and of course all mighty of them all Mr. Wallbanger himself.

Meet Mr. Wallbanger or Simon, a promiscuous guy, promising nights of lust and incredible sex but with a sweet personality that no one saw coming. He is sweet and caring and although initially he gives a bad boy vibe, he is anything but. He is a photographer that travels and a lot and he values his work but he is a down to earth guy.

Caroline and Simon as neighbors built a relationship both sweet and lusty, sometime around the ride dinners, movies, sleep overs and nooking jump in along the way and tha made the entire ''friendship'' a lot more enjoyable that from what we are used to. The author did a really good job with the writing and the development of the characters but I felt that something was missing. I did not cry over them in anguish, to get together or move their relationship to the next level. And a book like that should actually have that something.


That aside, it was a really enjoyable book, with protagonists that came to be, a plot that had a purpose and a great sense of humor. Just, a small note: Wallbanger,although it revolves around sex it hardly contains any, so it is not your usual NA or Erotica story and for that only I suggest you read it.


Thursday, October 9, 2014

Book Review: A Match Of Wits by Jen Turano [Review by Sharon]

Author:  Jen Turano
Series: Ladies of Distinction #4
Pages: 352
Publisher: Bethany House Publisher
Date published: 1 July 2014
Buy on: AmazonAmazon UK


Rating: 3.5 stars

"Lively and Humorous Historical Romp from an Acclaimed Author

Two years ago, Zayne Beckett's departure from New York City to meet up with his almost-fiance caused Agatha Watson no small amount of grief. So he is the last person she wanted to stumble upon in her travels as a reporter with the New York Tribune. Looking worse for the wear, he clearly needs to be taken in hand and taken back East to his family. Even though she's over him, Agatha can't help feeling sorry for him and realizes she'll have to be the one to get the stubborn man back home.

Zayne has no desire to be taken anywhere. Content to sit and mope over his recent bad fortune and the desertion of his not-quite-fiance, he's prepared to drag his heels all the way back to New York. That is, until he and Agatha find themselves slipping back into the strangely enjoyable bickering and bantering of their old friendship.
It isn't until they arrive in New York City that Zayne realizes Agatha's determined nose for news has earned her a few enemies. When his attempts to repay her for helping him go sadly awry, Agatha proves herself just as stubborn as Zayne. Everyone else may think them a match, but nothing could be further from the truth--until Agatha finds herself in real trouble. Have these two stubborn, too-smart-for-their-own-good people been meant for each other all along?"

Review

Well this was one cute funny ride. I mean, I never knew NY city was like that.

When I think of historical romance I usually think of dukes and seasons and courting and all wonderfull things but I never thought what happens in the USA around that time. Maybe because I'm ignorant, mostly because I didn't care.

But this book was a wonderful discovery, it was funny and well written and I liked Agatha and Zayne and thier interaction. Agatha was such a busy-body with crazy ideas she drove me insane but I liked her still.

And Zayne with all his brooding smar ass hero attitude was fun. I just loved it!

Then, why just 3.5 stars and not 4?

First of all, and spirited as Agatha was I kinda felt it was a bit over the top (which, yes, made me hold back in half a star) but what disturbed me even more was the religion- "God, and god and god" and sometimes "the lord".

I do not mean to disrespect anybody, each person is entitled to his/hers believes and all. And though I am not a religious person I am not exactly a not religious person if that makes sense?

I do believe in god, but I also believe in myself and in the people around me. Anyhow, it is not my intention to talk about religion.

What I'm trying to say was that I felt that religion was a big issue in the book so very very big it was almost suffocating. Starting with Agatha's belief and Zayne's lost one which he retrieves by the end of the book.

So yeah, that part was not for me. I did however love the feminist spirit of the book and all the fun moments.

A review copy was provided by Bethany House through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.